kahling

At last.
I am done with school! Woohoo!
On Friday I hit the ‘submit’ button for my professional teaching certificate renewal program. It was a lot of work- easily logged over 100 hours doing this thing- and that was just screen time not including the work I did in class with kids. I was a super intense moment, pressing submit, especially when they say ARE YOU SURE?!! YOU CAN’T MAKE ANY CHANGES AFTER YOU SUBMIT!!
Ugh. It’s only my job, my family, my well being on the line…
I will hear back in August. For now, I’m just glad the sun arrived right as I finished. SUMMER!
(Get this- I’m considering going for my masters next spring. LOL)
***
Despite working my tail off all week, we still managed to get out and run AND get weights in.
Miles ran: 11.5
Weights (arms/abs/butt): 4 times, about an 1.25 hours total
But, my weight is annoying. I’m eating too much salt lately and coupled with the sun I’m bloating like a poisoned pup, as my father would say. I’m keeping my calories around 1500 but I’m not losing. I’m chill about it, but also I want to be in the 220’s sooner than later.
***
I love Mindy Kahling.
You know, Kelly from ‘The Office’ and Dr. Lahiri from ‘The Mindy Project’? The cute, curvy girl who seems kind of ditzy? Yeah. She’s awesome. Here’s why:
She is a bigger girl who describes herself as “on the curvy to chubby” spectrum. Even though she is softer and rounder, she is still a sexy person who dates hot guys! She doesn’t settle for the ugly one, modeling to men and women that its ok to date a chubby girl, and girls, you can have anyone.
I like this because, as I’ve told my husband a million times, I never thought I would end up with someone attractive or someone who treated me like I am treated by him. I thought someone would have to settle for me, so I would have to settle for him. I remember this pimply, chubby, greasy-haired guy moved into my neighborhood when I was about 13. He was incredibly unattractive, but his behavior made him more so- with his burps, gas, inappropriate conversation and rudeness. I targeted this guy as a possibility for my first boyfriend. I thought that perhaps he would deign to date me. Eventually I just decided to forgo the whole thing because, Erm, no. You may or may not agree that my husband is a hottie, but I look at him daily and wonder how this came to be. And i wish I could let the teenage version of myself know that it would all turn out better than I hoped. And nobody settled in any way.*.
So, back to Mindy…
She’s a chubby fashionista. I’m not saying that her style is mine (she’s way more Chanel suit than I would ever wear even as a grandmother), but she has style. She’s not walking around in ill-fitting jeans and a polo shirt, or an attractive stretchy track outfit. No, she is tucked in, belted, short skirted, accessorized, patterned and made up. She looks amazing.
One of my favorite hobbies is getting dressed. Followed by hair and makeup. Followed by accessories. Yes, this is noteworthy because it has not always been so. Fat girls are not supposed to stand out- we are meant to blend in. We wear solid, muted colors. No belts- ha! Accessories are limited to large bags and large necklaces atop our princess/empire-waisted dresses… You get the idea. I tried to blend in for years, wearing shapeless brown and black outfits with one of my two pairs of shoes. No joke. Things have changed. I’m now one of the girliest girls I know. It has less to do with losing weight and more with feeling like I’m allowed to be in this world. I have a different sense of belonging and confidence these days and it’s reflected in my appearance. I have much in common with my glittery nine year old princess girl and we both love it!
Mindy is also well educated and a family girl. I know this because after I streamed most of her show on Hulu I went out to the library and got her book (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?) where she tells about her growing up. And all that girl is a sweetheart! She went to Dartmouth cuz shes a serious smartie pants under the makeup and she talks about how much she adores her family. She says kids shouldn’t be so focused on play dates because we only get 18 years to hang out as an awesome family. After that, then make friends. But family days are numbered and fleeting. She made me feel much better about how tightly I hang on to my own kids and how tightly they cling back. I just like them so stinking much. And I just LIKE Mindy. Like, were I to have the opportunity, I’d totally want to hang out with her.
On top of it all, she’s funny in a clever way only a chubby girl would know. Like the time her boyfriend accidentally puts her jeans on as he hops out of bed. The waist gaps and he laughs but she is mortified and comments that it looks like the jeans from the before picture of a lap band surgery ad. It doesn’t sound that funny here, but I tell you, I was rolling. Then I rewound it and made Bradley watch it. That kind of stuff.
Anyhow, if she were my spokesperson, I like her way much and think she’s a great role model for the up and coming chubby girls. Everyone needs someone they can look at as proof of success.
* there is a quote by Dan Savage: There’s no settling down without settling.
I agree somewhat, but I also see a subtle similarity to compromise.
***
This summer I want to…
– End with my weight in the 220’s
– Run an average of four runs per week
– Hike to the ice caves (and other hikes too)
– Go dancing at Neighbors (our favorite from our 20’s) with an old friend
– Go back to naked spa
– Be a good kid with my food but balance the yummy stuff in too
– Get stronger by using my weights an average of 3 times per week
– Clean my kids’ rooms
– Weed out my too-big clothes! They are everywhere!
– kiss the babies and the hubs lots
– Relax, laugh & have fun!

Summertime with my girl