Hike to Ice Caves
Done.
***
It must be said that this was pretty much a holy experience for me. I don’t know why, but walking up the side of a mountain gives me tremendous pleasure, a feeling of connectedness, a sense of awe. I just marvel at this amazing world I get to live in.
Way back in June I wrote the following list of goals. I started wondering how I was doing on them. Turns out, I’m not doing stupendously well!
This summer I want to…
– End with my weight in the 220′s
– Run an average of four runs per week
– Hike to the ice caves (and other hikes too)
– Go dancing at Neighbors (our favorite from our 20′s) with an old friend
– Go back to naked spa
– Be a good kid with my food but balance the yummy stuff in too
– Get stronger by using my weights an average of 3 times per week
– Clean my kids’ rooms
– Weed out my too-big clothes! They are everywhere!
– kiss the babies and the hubs lots
– Relax, laugh & have fun!
The crossed out ones are accomplished…
*I am not in the 220’s. Part of me is super peeved about this, the other part of me is cool with it. In September, my school/work days will force me to schedule things a little better. That said, I’m doing well today and plan to continue to do well for the remainder of the summer. I still have two weeks. That is plenty of time to lose three pounds if I just pony up and do it. Determination…
*I’m at an average of three runs per week. I see that changing, though, since vacations and craziness is all over.
*The ice caves hike has been pared down by the parks service to a 1/4 mile * walk each direction. Because it’s such an easy hike now I’ve not been very interested in driving the hour to get to the trailhead. Isn’t that terrible? I decided the other day to plan it along with another short hike in the area so I’ll still get a good workout in. * I don’t know where I saw that- it’s an easy mile each way.
*My going-out buddy has been struggling too much with her depression so Neighbors wasnt going to work anymore. I substituted a teacher’s night out and a future celebration with a friend of mine who just got hired AND engaged. It’s not Neighbors, but it is going out and that was the whole point!
*There just never seemed time to go back to the spa. Sigh… Plus, I just like my family so much! It’s hard to leave them when I know I have to leave them every day for work in just a couple of weeks.
*My kids did a surprisingly good job cleaning their own rooms without my help! All the training has paid off! Could we be entering a new era? I hope so!
***
Guess what showed up at my door last week??? Here’s more motivation to end the summer at 225:
6PM.com was having some pretty awesome prices on wide calf boots and I took advantage. Remember how I was supposed to get ONE pair of boots? Ha ha ha! Yeah. I saw way more than one pair for my wide-calved, clown feet. They are beautiful and I need to lose seven pounds stat so I can wear them this fall!
*Interesting note- I think I will forever be a wide-calved girl. I notice that skinny jeans are always tight on my calves and as I keep getting fitter and smaller, my calves remain the same. I think being a bigger girl who has always been active compounded by my running means I’m just going to have cantaloupes back there for life. I’m cool with that. 🙂
Today’s run was amazing. Since the pressure of training is off I was able to just relax and not worry about making mileage. I decided to just do a loop around what I used to call the big loop but now it seems like a pretty short loop. It was almost refreshing to do just a 1.5 mile run. I modulated my pace to match the incline and decline again and found great results- I ran my best time ever! Woot! We followed that up with an abs and arms workout.
***
I’ve fallen into my typical dieting pattern lately. When I first get going on a weightloss plan I am really healthy and smart about it. I get strict about what kinds of foods I eat and make very intentional healthy choices. Over time, I start making substitutions- like a snack of carrots turns into a bag of pop chips- still within the calories, right? I keep doing that until I end up with a compromised diet filled with more processed foods (mostly processed soy, like vegetarian chik nuggets) and my snacks turn into processed foods like granola bars and healthy snack mixes instead of fresh produce. I eat within my caloric allowances but not with the level of nutrition I should be getting, considering what I’m asking my body to do.
Yesterday at the color run there were lots of pictures taken of me. Seriously, it was my first official run so we were at a kindergarten graduation-level of picture taking frenzy. After seeing myself in a myriad or running poses, I can’t deny that I have a lot of belly to lose still. My legs and arms and head and neck are looking pretty good… I just need to find my waist and hips now. 🙂 I say all of this while also acknowledging how far I’ve come and how proud I am of all my progress. I just have not been being entirely honest with myself about what is happening with my body, my tummy in particular. Add to that the health risks of belly fat and I think it is definitely in my best interest to continue along this path of weightloss and fitness.
As I’m reading more about muscle building and diet (eat complex carbs with protein and two fists of green at each meal), one thing I keep seeing over and over is the advantage of complex carbohydrates over refined grains. That unless I’m giving the proper kinds of fuel to my body I’m going to continue to maintain my weight instead of lose. I read specifically about how to lose belly fat and over and over- cardio and healthy carbs. What’s a girl with a gut to do?
I’m pleased to say that over the past few weeks we’ve been very consciously doing a lot of replacements- brown rice, wheat flour, whole grain breads- and we are feeling really good and the food tastes amazing. I made super yummy banana blueberry muffins yesterday that taste excellent but are also pretty healthy! This is one of those lifetime changes that I committed to at the onset of my weightloss project. I’m so pleased that we’re actually following through and that my family is enthusiastically on board.
Today I woke up at 6:30, crawled out of bed, rubbed the bleariness from my eyes and woke my kids up to head to the Color Me Rad 5K (the race where you are pelted with color while you run, ending up with a colored shirt and body by the time you cross the finish line). This is the race that motivated me to get my rear end moving so I wouldn’t be humiliated by needing to walk the whole thing… My motivation to train! My extra reason to get out and run 3+ miles a few times a week! Turns out, I needn’t have worried. This was definitely a fun run with lots and lots of people who started out walking or were walking by the end of the first half mile AND it was untimed! Relax, right?! But it was all worth it.
I was fortunate enough to amass a small team. We were called ‘Pink Shazam’ and we ran with two of my former students and their moms. Sorry about the photo editing. 🙂
It turned out great because cool mom #1 and I seemed to be at about the same pace. Cool mom #2 kept up with the boys while CM#1 and I kept chugging along from the rear. Gigi took off like a rocket and kept going. After the first quarter mile or so I didn’t even see her anymore!
I was really proud of our team. Every one of us ran the entire time, never stopping once to walk or anything. Our mile times ranged from 10:56-11:37, which was nice, consistent pacing for me. Our total time was about 36 minutes. While not competitive, necessarily,it was very satisfying. This totally goes down in the books as a success. I had a fabulous time getting really dirty!
At the end of it all, our wave stood in a circle, burst colors and danced about. Terribly fun. I can’t wait to do it again next year! And get this- Jude wants to run next time! We will start the training soon!
I keep thinking I need to write something for my blog… But then I keep not writing anything for my blog. Funny like that, eh?
Frankly, I’m in the throes of summer. The weather is hot, I’m sweaty, a little sleepy and am just not into doing much in the way of running. It’s hot in the morning and all day long and it just sounds like torture to go run around in the 83 degree sun.
I guess I should acknowledge that I’m not being lazy…
… There was the 3 mile run/ walk yesterday…
… Not to mention the all day zoo trip today…
… The thirty minutes on the exer-bike followed with a beach walk…
And I need to acknowledge that just because it’s not a run does not mean I did not exercise. I totally am exercising. Just not with spastic breathing, I guess.
***
Food has been, well, interesting lately. Self control has definitely not been my strongest feature. I wouldn’t say I’m out of control by any means, but I’m having difficulty saying no to myself. I need to remember that sense of satisfaction that comes from going to bed after a clean and balanced eating day and I need to remind myself of that more often.
That said, as soon as I discovered BBQ flavored Pop Chips and then saw the giant bag at Costco for 5.00 I promised myself that one day this summer I’d let myself eat as much of the contents of that family sized bag as I wanted. I fulfilled that dream this week ( 😉 ) That has to have something to do with my weightloss issue! Salt is not my friend!
***
The Color Me Rad run is on Saturday! Gigi and I went and bought a new white shirt for her to wreck in the run. I’m excited. 🙂
That’s pretty much it.
Anyways…
I don’t make a habit of doing this kind of stuff- the lists of factoids that circulate on social media, but I was reading over at fat chick 2 fit chick today and she posted this. I was fascinated to read about her so I decided to add this to my own blog. Perhaps some of my readers might enjoy learning more about me than the fitness and diet facts. 🙂
***
Oh- I ran yesterday and rode my stationary bike today. Lifted weights, crunched and all that both days. Exercise has been good of late. Anyhow, enjoy!
***
List 20 random facts about yourself.
1. My family goes to Disneyland about once a year. Sometimes more. People think we are crazy, but really it has a lot to do with travel anxiety and familiarity. It’s easy to go there and we always have a good time.
2. I was a terrible student in the public school system. By the time I was in 4th grade, I hated school and decided I was a failure as a student so I gave up trying. It took until I was a married 25 year old before I figured out how to do school and I held a 3.9 GPA for the entirety of my return to college. I graduated at the age of 30, five months after I became a mom.
3. I read really trashy celebrity gossip blogs. Like, REALLY trashy. Ask me anything and I probably have the answers… I feel terrible about it, but it is also the way I unwind after work. So, it’s ironic that I don’t really watch TV. We don’t have cable, just Hulu, and opportunities to watch anything grown- up rarely present themselves so what I watch is very selective and somewhat rare. This is funny because I was the kind of kid who could recite the television guide week by week as a child.
3. Bradley and I have evolved in our relationship to be able to exchange ideas very quickly, to jump topics and return to them at random times and we often carry on two conversations at once, sometimes talking over one another for entire minutes, simultaneously having a conversation together. We say we have fast talking squirrel brains. Admittedly, that is pretty intense, but it’s fun and we rarely get that carried away when someone else is around, but we do speak, laugh and talk with intensity. We don’t think our rate of speech is a problem. We think that people need to evolve along with us. Or world is not slowing down. At any given moment I have a big list of things to accomplish while posting to Instagram, checking Facebook, texting, shopping and carrying on a conversation with someone. Our world is multilayered now with a million conversations going on simultaneously both within our sphere and outside of it. It’s ok for us to embrace this. It’s good. The other option is the equivalent of the olde timey man with ye olde hearing aide: a horn to his ear while he hollers, “What?! Speak up!” Evolving in this way will hopefully allow us to continue to engage in media and stay connected to people outside of our generation.
4. I am the baby in my family with two older brothers. This means I had my mom and dad to myself as a teenager and, I’m not going to lie, it was a golden age. My brothers don’t really care that much about me or my life, but my mom, dad, husband and I have a really nice, close bond.
5. I always hated my name growing up. I went by Tami as a child and changed it to Tamara (my given name) when I was a teenager, after I decided ‘Tami’ was a name for strippers and women truckers. Later, I found out I was named after the Debbie Reynolds song, ‘Tami’s in Love’ that my mom heard in 3rd grade. She loved the song so much that it made my family nickname much less hated by me. I also found out I was nearly named ‘Tassie’, my mom’s maiden name. If I could pick, I would have chosen Tassie in a heartbeat. I love it.
6. When I was little I had an entire classroom in my bedroom. Meaning, I had little boxes set up as desks in my room with dolls as the students and anytime I would go upstairs I would boss my imaginary students around. This went on for years until one day my mom asked me who I was yelling at like that. I blushed, explained the situation, and while I was never humiliated by my mother, I was embarrassed and shut down my private school.
7. I have primarily been a vegetarian since I was 15. Initially I became a veg for many reasons, mostly environmental. Truly, though, I just can’t stand the cruelty and I feel like if I could kill it I could eat it. But I could never bring myself to take a life. Unless we are talking slugs and bugs, those mofos need to die, but I ain’t eating them! My husband also, thankfully, became veggie at 15 so I didn’t have to turn him into one and, of course, my kids also eat meat free.
8. I have never lived outside of Washington State. I read somewhere that you should live in New York at least once in your life (but leave before you become to hardened) and you should also live in Northern Cali at least once in your life (but leave before you get too soft). I often think I should diversify and try something out, but I can’t imagine living in a place that is not green, not near the ocean and not cool. I love living on the outskirts of my awesome city, but am open to moving. In 20-30 years. 🙂
9. I have never been cool, never been a part of a clique, never been popular, never been someone people just need to hang around with. I think that’s weird because I think I’m super-cool-awesome-sauce and funny. Instead I tend to build a small group of friends and loved ones around me and they are pretty much it. Right now I have my kids, my parents, my Bradley, an old friend from high school and two girls from work who I would never hesitate to call in a pinch. I know other people, but I am not a hanger-outer/partier. Sometimes I wish I were more included, but mostly I really enjoy my small circle.
10. I am a dork. I always have been. I once had a boyfriend who told me, “You’re not cool… You’re… Just…. Different.” Okaaaayyy… I have embraced my dorkiness of late, though. We geek out to Star Wars, Buffy, Adventuretime and other geekworthy bits. But not Dr. Who or Firefly. But more than that, I’m just a dorky dork who likes being a little adorkable. It gives me license to like things outside of what people deem acceptable for my age.
11. I was engaged before I was with Bradley. We had a hall rented and everything. I knew he wasn’t right for me but I was worried that, since I was fat, I wouldn’t ever find anyone else. I made a million compromises with the guy and he finally broke up with me in Paris on day three of a four month journey I was taking through Europe. I’m glad he was honest and did it then instead of later, but it was a tricky situation to be in. However, as soon as we split, I thought of my present Bradley. He met up with me the day after my trip ended and we’ve been inseperable ever since.
12. My dream job is to be an artist and writer. I would love to have a studio like Eric Carle or Jackson Pollock has where I could spread papers out and collage in a huge space. I would like to create graphic novels for teenagers about love and romantic stuff.
13. On that note, when I write I get super attached to my characters and miss them when I’m not writing about them. They kind of become friends, as weird as that might seem.
14. I’m an easy laugher. Like, I will laugh and laugh and seem to have a strange sense of humor because I will laugh at things that are probably not funny to others! The result is that people think they are super funny around me. It’s nice to be that audience for people, and it’s nice to laugh and enjoy conversations that much!
15. Reading is bomb. When I was a kid I read constantly. If you wanted to give me a gift, a book was a good bet. I read crap, though (Danielle Steele, Stephen King and the like) and decided to be a little more intellectual as I got older. Over time, I stopped reading, then I accidentally came upon a romance novel with a juicy part in it and I got hooked. Romance, romance romance- that is what I want lately! Though, it must be said that I also REALLY like reading historical fiction and travel memoirs. Bill Bryson is a favorite of mine and I love HF from the Henry the VIII era. That dude was crazy!
16. My birthday should be a national holiday. My birthday is not on October 29, rather it is the entire month of October. I loooove my birthday but despise aging. The fact that I’m turning 40 this year burns my soul. If I hadn’t nearly met my goal of 40 before 40 I would seriously be depressed. This body project is saving my brain.
17. Modesty is not an issue with me. I don’t care who sees my body as long as they are not judgmental about me. I hate people who take pictures of strangers and then post them to Facebook calling out their too sexy/fat/ugly bodies. Why do people care so much and why do they want to inflict their negativity on others? Keep your judgement to yourselves, people and let the rest of us live in peace.
18. I think I want to quit Facebook. I always worry that I’m going to post the wrong thing that will offend someone or make them think poorly of me. People post memes that are disdainful of updates about working out, what’s for dinner, self portraits, kid quotes and anything else. It seems like the only acceptable posts are complaints so I just don’t really post much of anything anymore.
19. I collect Wonder Woman stuff. It all started as a child- I wanted Wonder Woman underoos in the biggest baddest way, but my dream was never realized. A few years ago I saw the same underoos set online FOR ADULTS so I spent way too much on them. I love them and have added a variety of WW swag to my life!
20. I have strong opinions about sex-Ed and kids. I think it’s seriously weird that we spend SO MUCH TIME teaching children how to be successful in the working and school world but we rely on one primary relationship (parents) and television to model how to be in a relationship for much of our children’s educations about sex and love, which is surprising since many people cite their primary partners as one of the factors in their life’s success.
Describe 3 legitimate fears you have.
Snakes
Caterpillars (I hate their sticky icky feet and green guts and habits of covering trees. Shiver.)
Heights- mostly just cliffs and bridges, not, interestingly enough, roller coasters and other amusement rides.
I also have to add maggots to the list. There is a horrible story that goes with this involving a walk across the living room as a teenager in socks. Oh, the floor was absolutely, squirmingly covered with maggots.
Describe your relationship with your spouse.
Bradley is my other half, seriously. For him, it was love at first sight. For me, I was in a pretty serious relationship at the time and couldn’t let myself really see him… But I kinda knew I liked him. We are codependent, needy and crazy about each other. We hate to be apart and rarely are, except for work. I adore that man.
{16 year old me and my brothers}
List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
1. I would tell myself to cut the crappy relationships out and I would tell myself to hightail it down the freeway to Bradley’s house where we could have started our story a few years earlier.
2. Don’t worry about love. Don’t settle for love. It will all work out.
3. You have PCOS. Start working out and eating healthy now and things will be better for you in the long run.
4. Don’t go to college right out of high school. You are not ready. Go play, travel and skip the college loans that you’re otherwise going to have to pay for after earning a 1.2 GPA.
5. You are smart. Your brain is just not ready yet. Work hard, but remain positive. This will get easier once you grow out of your ADHD brain.
6. When that dude from the McDonalds asks you out, don’t go. He’s all hands and you’re not into it. I promise.
7. Don’t apologize about your musical tastes. You are diverse. Just enjoy it.
8. Don’t be intentionally dumpy or grungy in your 20’s. That whole ‘I don’t care how I dress, I’m an individual’ thing looks really stupid when you’re going on 40 and wondering why you didn’t capitalize on your hotness before it got all wrinkly and grey.
9. Don’t live by everyone else’s rules. You’re smart and you’re allowed to enjoy yourself in life, adventure and love without worrying about labels you may acquire. At your heart you are a good person. That shines through.
10. You’re worthy of this life. Believe it. Don’t be afraid to chase the things that are important to you. Join the swim team, for goodness sakes! Who cares if people will see you in a bathing suit! (That is the entire reason I never joined. Silly, huh?!)
What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
Bradley
Gigi
Jude
Schoolteacher summers
My marriage
***. Ha ha! There are two number 3’s! Oops! You got 21 random things instead. 🙂
I have been really considering, lately, what is up with my New Kids thing? I’ve rejected them for years, then, on a lark, I go to their concert and get hooked back into their world. Suddenly I’m following Donnie and Danny on Twitter, the rest on Instagram and looking up their personal lives online to figure out the juicy details. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed, but certainly have a greater interest in them than seems appropriate for a 39 year old woman.
I also wrote about Katy Perry way back in February. I wrote about how I love her brand of self expression and wrote about how her music makes me want to move. Firework was the motivator for my first real run. It was with Katy Perry in my ear singing and telling me I could do it and I threw myself an unplanned challenge- to run for the duration of the song. I did and felt terrifically empowered after.
It niggles me, all this pop music making its way into my brain, infusing itself like a much needed and desired earworm.
Tonight when I walked into our living room, Bradley had started something playing on TV. I assumed it would be Star Wars related or a documentary as that is what he picks when he has his choice. I was surprised to see Katy Perry make her way across the screen and, while I did arm curls, crunches, and worked my various muscle families, I watched as Ms. Perry’s fans talked about how inspired they feel by her. They spoke to a feeling of acceptance, love and encouragement. They held her up as a bastion of the American Dream- if you can dream it, it’s possible.
{Me at 17- I’m the one with the unzipped graduation gown. I had just lost about 80 pounds.}
Somewhere along the way, between exiting teenagerhood and the onset of middle age, I think I forgot about possibility and dreams. Instead, I settled into what was and what was supposed to be. I looked to the futures of my children as my own dreams. I looked for models of what fiancés did, what newlyweds, young parents, homeowners and college students did to guide my own life. I forgot about looking at what I wanted, I had already decided: Wife, Mom, Teacher- those titles were in the plan. Done, done and done- the planning was over. I didn’t need to dream or be inspired. I was an actualized adult without need of a pop star to guide and inspire me.
Cut to my daughter’s first year of life and one day I found myself driving down the road bawling my eyes out. Earlier, I had been laying on the floor while she climbed all over me and I felt like a boulder- huge and immobile. I could do little more than pick her up over my head, rolling over was a challenge and I could hardly get off the floor when she finally crawled away. It just felt like a compromise of life. When I left the house I turned on the radio and 100 Years came on, reminding me how precious life is, how very brief it is, how quickly my daughter would grow up and I couldn’t help but realize that I was piddling my life and her babyhood away by being morbidly obese. So I took action. The rest of the story is pretty obvious, but if you want the whole story you can visit here.
Tonight I sat there watching as Katy rose to fame, went on a concert tour, got married, divorced, awarded, dressed, undressed, made up and more. Throughout it all she kept talking about living the dream, living your best life, doing what is important. She gives creedence to being playful, romance and silliness. She kept saying she loves her fans, loves people and was so kind as she met them, included them in her shows and into her heart. The New Kids do the same thing- they tell their fans they couldn’t do it without us, that they love us Blockheads, they’re glad we came, they appreciate our dedication and we can be whatever we want. Even still- after 25 years.
We stop listening, as adults, to all of those voices that are out there telling us we are a firework. We buy into ‘reality’ and stop dreaming, instead settling for nights on the sofa in front of someone else’s imagined life. We let the young’ns take center stage and defer those ‘follow your dreams’ statements to them. Instead we get ‘live, laugh, love’ which is nice, but not very proactive. Not very fun. We forget that even though we are almost 40, we are still capable of changing. We are not limited to only living, laughing and loving. Dreams are still very much alive! We are still allowed to reach for the stars.
I think that is why I’m engaging with my cream-filled pop-star center. The last time I let myself buy into pop music I was 16, full of hopes and dreams. I was planning my life still, looking forward to following this path. Well, guess what? I reached the end of my path- I have my babies, the best husband, a wonderful career, a home, Im left wanting for nothing- and suddenly I find myself in the same place I was at 16. What next? I have a few choices, primarily to settle into my easy chair with the remote or to continue to live this life to the fullest. I’m sure you know which path I’m choosing to walk. Just like at 16, I’m still dreaming and making plans, thanks to my heart being reopened and I’m hearing the message. The Whisper…
It seems ridiculous, but Katy and the New Kids are reinvigorating my sense of adventure and the belief in myself – it never left, necessarily, but it certainly faded. Adventure is still out there, my life has 50 years of possibility left, and I’m going to do it as healthily as possible.
Running today was super awesome with a side of awesome sauce fo-sho!
I spend a good amount of time on Hulu passively watching shows like The Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition (EM:WE) I’m aware that their practices are not always the best for losing weight ‘right’, but I think they must know something because they keep doing it and its so gratifying to watch the transformations for me. Anyhow, on today’s episode of EM:WE, the trainer, Chris Powell, coached his client through a marathon about pacing- slowing down and speeding up depending on the incline and how her body was feeling. A lightbulb went off- duh. I always hit every uphill and downhill with the same level of energy and pace, never slowing down OR speeding up!
That changed today, and my run was rocking! I feel like if I do that I can REALLY listen to my body- and not about panicking or overheating, rather where the sweet spot for fat burning is. Do you see that first mile? That is a kick ass pace! It’s mostly the downhill part of the run, so it looks really good and fast, but I’m proud. 😀
As you can see from my sweaty faced post run picture, it was a rainy day. I forgot how beautiful it is to run on cool, moist days. I didn’t overheat, there was no threat of panic… I am only looking forward to this one component of fall- cooler weather to run in without struggling with the heat!
***
A weird thing that happens to me from time to time is that I smell ammonia after I run. I wondered if I had some weird olfactory infection or if smelling ammonia post run is a sign of something. Turns out, it is a sign!
A sign that I need to drink more water before I run AND I need to eat better carbs. This morning when I ran I was using a handful of Cheerios and a drink of milk as fuel. It was not enough! Turns out when you’re low on accessible carbs your body burns protein- which can mean muscle- and the result is that ammonia is excreted in my sweat and I STINK! Today it was to intense my nostrils burned. I’ll definitely make sure to eat appropriately in the future. I’m so glad to have this mystery solved.
I haven’t done one of these in a while. I like seeing these things 😉
There aren’t HUGE changes or anything, but it’s fun to compare and contrast. I just am noticing that I’m a wee bit smoother, my boobs are definitely shrinking… I’m just kinda less.. Lumpy, I suppose. I’ll take it.
I’m not so much losing weight right now, but I am seeing a lot of change in my tone and skin shrinkage. I’m liking that pretty much as much as I like losing pounds!
I took this picture today. I know, we ladies are really good at selfies, but sheesh! I get surprised at that chick who keeps smiling back at me in my camera. I get surprised because it’s me and I think that lady looking back at me is really, well, dare I say it? Pretty. (moment of wearing my heart on my sleeve here). I see myself and think I’m pretty. I know, I know, I have always been beautiful inside and out, blah blah, blah and I’m doing this for my health, blah blah blah, but just for a moment, I’m going to let myself look at my own image and see the self that is emerging as pretty. What a nice thing to think about myself. Vanity- it’s a toughie for me.
So what’s a girl to do who thinks she might be pretty? If she is a total dork like me she puts that theory to the test by putting headphones on and earnestly lipsyncing NKOTB songs in the mirror to herself to see if she would look weird or ok if she were a celebrity and the paparazzi was determined to get one of those horrible pictures of someone in mid-speak… You know the ones. So here I am, really sharing my soul with you here…
If there was any question of whether I’m too pretty or too cool or in any danger of me losing my dorky girl status… Well… I think we’ve solved those quandaries.
