Author: Tamara

Why I Chose Running

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It seems totally contrary to what I should be doing: running. Running is notoriously hard on your knees, the slamming impact bursts your joints, not to mention the discomfort of flopping skin and burning lungs… And I am not a tiny person to be running around the block at 250 (or now, 240).
At first it was the bad-assery of it that made me want to run. People who are serious, run. None of this pansy assed walking or sauntering, or machine exercise – as if?! Run on the street, run for a goal, no walking – it’s hardcore and romantic, right? So at first, it was just to see if I could. Guess what? I can.
After I established that I can do this running thing, I started noticing a side benefit: calories burned! When I ran, I could come home and eat a giant sub sandwich and STILL not have met my calorie allowances for the day! Running burns calories like nothing else! I run for 20 minutes and I’ll burn over 600 calories. Usually I run for about 40 minutes, so I’m really burning a lot! As I lose weight and my chassis is weighing less, I’m also burning fewer calories, but running is far superior to any other activity that I could find. Then I found this little graph:

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[I have to be honest and say I don’t know the original source for it – I found it at another running blog, so please A. don’t take this to your doctor as scientific fact or B. sue me for copyright. I’ll take it down if you ask.]
The numbers align somewhat with what I supposedly pull and comparatively it makes me feel like I’ve made a smart choice in exercise to assist the rapidity with which I would like to shed the pounds. Remember: 40 before 40!
Which brings me to my last point… My obsessiveness with weighing myself has turned into my obsessiveness with burning calories. I have to run. I MUST run. Back in the day when I walked and Bradley ran, he would walk with me often but never officially count it as his exercise. It always seemed somewhat insulting- unintentionally, of course. Now I understand. According to this graph walking burns less than half the calories as running. Unless I run, I feel like I haven’t worked out for real. The stationary cycle seems too simple, walking seems too unsweaty and the Wii fit, while fun, seems mostly just fun now. I must run every day, it seems like. That drive is exciting, but I need to keep it in check so I don’t injure myself.
Yesterday I just had to run and forced Bradley out the door with me. I needed to burn some calories or I was going to pace like a panther all night. Because we were going for a shorter run,* I asked Bradley to push me to a better pace. He did. My second mile was at a 10:30 pace, but the first mile was in the 9:40’s! Both miles kicked the booty of my previous miles, telling me yes, you can, girl. Yes, you can!
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With that run, I hit 10.75 towards my goal of 12 miles this week. If I take a 5K on Saturday I’ll exceed my goal. How proud would I be?
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I’m tweeting my runs these days if that sounds like something you’re interested in. Follow me, if you want to know my mileage and splits and all that good stuff.
Twitter
@tamarashazam
(Someday we will activate the twitter button, but for now you can play it old school)
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*I laugh inwardly all the time about how I call half a mile ‘easy’ now, how a short run is ‘only’ running a two miler. TWO MILES?! Who am I? Sorry, but what the hell is happening with me?! Ha ha ha!!!

Moments Away…

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Ignore my cankles and desperate need of a pedicure, and instead focus on that number. That, my friends, is 1.6 pounds away from losing a clean hundred.
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Bradley and I tore it up to the tune of 3 miles in 34 minutes today. It was sunny and beautiful, and the weather is supposed to continue to be gorgeous. Today it was warm but by Monday it’s supposed to be in the 80’s- mwa ha ha!! Anyhow, I always have wanted to be a part of a couple that runs together but really, never thought I would ever pony up the sweat enough to do it. Now we are and I love running down the road with him. There’s this strange sense of pride that I have that we are doing this together, unified, supporting one another. That he runs with me.
He is so kind. The man can fly. At his peak he was running 6+ and 7 minute miles. So for him to chug along with me at 11’s is terribly sweet. He could chide me and bully me along, but he lets me be at my own pace on the street routes I insist on running, even though I know he much prefers the track. He lets me run on the road instead of the sidewalk because I hate going up and down the driveways and he even picks up the dog’s ‘do’ and carries it (sometimes for a long time) until we get to a trash can. The best? He lets me sing Selena Gomez* and Queen songs to him while I run. He just smiles. I feel lucky that I have a partner at all, but him? Bees knees.
I love him like a love song baby, and I keep hitting repeat!
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I’m 3 miles away from making my goal of 12 miles this week! 🙂
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*I know. First Katy Perry, now Selena. There’s something about that power pop that makes me cruise! What can I say?

Goals n Stuff

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I was at work today talking to a friend who, yesterday, I told to make some goals. She did. Smart goals. Goals that were meaningful and made sense for her. Then she asked me what my goals were. Drink water and eat more whole grains. That’s I what I came up with. Nothing shameful about those goals, but they seem so mealy and convenient, a somewhat duh Ralph level of meaningless.
My friend made a mileage goal. Mileage! Why didn’t I think of that?!
New goal: 12 miles this week!
So far I’ve run 5.9 miles this week- almost there! I just want to be sure not to limit myself to ONLY 12 miles this week. If I feel like running more, I will.
My other goal will be to let Bradley pull me a little more. He paces faster than I do. The first time we ran we did an 8.50 mile. That freaked me out, I figured out I was running way faster than usual and pumped the breaks. While I don’t think I’m ready to go that fast (my body would compress into dust at this weight) I do think know that I can go faster than 11.5 or 12 minute miles. I suppose shooting for as close to an 11 minute mile is a good place to start.
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I weighed in at 242.6 today. Bomb diggety!

Eat Your Vegetables!

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So… This was the good shot from the set. No, you may NOT see the others. I just snapped them real quick as we were trotting along, that magnificent, beautiful husband and I, and I didn’t bother to see if one was better than the rest. Oh well. But my husband? Meow.
We did 3.6 in 41 minutes, though the last .4 was walked. I paced slower this time, pulling our speed down to 11:00ish for all three miles. For some reason I had a really hard time catching a complete breath. I was doing fine, but it made me anxious enough that I stayed really careful and didn’t push at all.
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Today my scale read 244.2! Finally going down. It is weightloss warrior week, after all.
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I realized this weekend that I haven’t made any firm new goals of late. My diet is a non-issue. I suppose I could work more vegetables into it, but who can’t. I keep on my calories and when I ‘cheat’ it is within my allowances. My exercise is pretty spotless – I’m exercising hard every other day with a mid-level aerobic and weights on the off days. I’ve been making sure to rest when my body hits a stress point and I seem to be doing well.
I think my immediate goal this week is to work more whole grains into my diet. While I do a pretty good job, I should be making sure I’m loading up on more oatmeal instead of cereal, brown rice instead of white, that kind of thing. I also need to get back on the drinking water. Caffeine is so appealing that I fell off the wagon and into iced tea-land. But I don’t drink straight up iced tea- I like the crystal lite kind which has sodium in it, not to mention a plethora of other crap that is not good for me. So there you have them- water and super strict food. If all goes well this week, I might be in the 230’s by next week. We’ll see. I wouldn’t mind sitting at 238 for the next little bit…
Cheers!

St. Edwards

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After our successful hiking adventure the other day, we Lj’s decided to hit the trail again before we forgot what it felt like to have The grit under our feet and the tree boughs overhead. We were planning to head to the mountains to gain some altitude, but by the time we rolled outta bed this morning, got our business taken care of and were ready it was late afternoon so we decided to save Wallace Falls for another day.
Instead, we headed to our near, dear and always beautiful neighborhood State park: St. Edwards. This park is amazing because, while it is well used, it has many trails with tons of indigenous wildlife. It is a park you can get lost in and it is incredibly close to us and Seattle. We feel lucky to have such a resource so nearby.

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Today’s hike took about an hour. We were slow, but the trail was steep and I was a little sore in my joints yet from my runs this week. We made it to the water’s edge where we threw a stick for Martha for a bit before heading back up the trail. It was steep! Like this:

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Isn’t it funny that when you’re there, in the thick of it, an activity or task will seem insurmountable, but then when you show someone the picture you’re like, “hmmm… That is NOT as steep as it FELT!”
I promise you. It was a mile hike straight downhill followed my the same steep incline uphill for a mile. We were all sweaty by the time we got to the top, and along the way? Gorgeous. I’m lucky to live in this state.

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I’m thinking today that I’m losing all of my collected PMS water weight. Finally. Hopefully I’ll get a decent weigh in tomorrow. Aside from that though, I have to start believing I’m gaining muscle alongside the fat loss. I have to. I’m seeing changes everywhere except on the scale. I feel amazing. I know I’m doing everything right. No cheats, daily exercising, I’m always eating a solid, healthy diet…. I’ll just keep focusing on the fitness and hope that the fat burns off sooner or later.

Hubs Run

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Bradley surprised me today by texting to ask me to take a run with him this afternoon. He said he had two miles in him. That sounded good to me. I reminded him that I’m slow. Like sloooowwww. He said mostly he wanted to be with me and exercise is exercise.
I was a little glad that he was out of breath at my pace. It made me feel a little less lame.
As we rounded the corner of the big block we started picking up a little speed. As we ran by our house, Bradley stopped briefly to check on the kids and I ran ahead. And when I say I ran ahead, I mean I sprinted ahead. Down the hill, as fast as I could. I know it was downhill, but it was pretty cool to learn what my body feels like when I go fast without being scared of hurting myself or falling or getting too tired or…
When we came home I saw that being with my man makes me go faster. Not because he pushed me harder or anything. It just happened. I was really happy to be down in the 10’s for my average!

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After we got home Bradley started telling me how proud he is of me. He told me how I really seem invested. How I obviously push myself hard. How I’m serious and he can see it. And again, how proud he is of me. I love him so much. Those words, that respect he offered me, it just means so much coming from him.
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I haven’t lost any weight in a long time. I’m really hoping that I’ll see a change happen in the next few days.

Fruits, Labors

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Today I proved that I am making smart choices about my health. I hiked to places I have never been- never would have gone before because going down the steep hill means I have to come back up. But today, we went down, up, down, up again, wash, rinse, repeat. I didn’t say no, not once. Not once did I complain, I wasn’t bored, tired or any of those things that I usually am when I look at a trail. I usually get scared of what if’s … Instead, I had the best time ever. Today, I was a mountain goat, herding my little ones over the hill, down the valley, across the crevasse, through the meadow, under the branches and out into the most beautiful vista ever.

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It felt magnificent to actually be that person I want to be. The one who can trust her knees and balance, who can trust that she won’t burst a lung on the way up the hill. Who says yes to a hike. The one who won’t embarrass herself by being out of shape and hurting herself by doing so ething stupid- so worried that she would say no and hold her family back- miss the view and the magic. It is wonderful to have broken free of that fear.

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On the way home we let the kids pick a place to eat at. We haven’t gone out to eat for months and Jude actually hugged the door of Red Robin on the way in. Bradley and I split a burger and some fries, I ate a salad and after all of our hiking about I was able to stay within the calorie range. It felt really good

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I learned a lot today. First, I learned that my activity level greatly improves my family’s quality of life. They go where I go, and where I don’t They don’t go either. it’s not fair to limit them like that. I won’t limit them anymore. I also learned that I can still go out to eat sometimes. I just need to be reasonable.
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I like that last picture because I never in a million jillion years would have leaned on Bradley that way in the past. I would have hated for him to have to support my weight. It was nice to lean on him like that. 🙂

Spring

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As I have been losing weight I have been collecting clothes. I have a ‘set’ of clothes for each size from 26 to 20 of a jean skirt, black and khaki pencil skirt, jeans, and a few sweaters and shirts. (The last time I lost weight I got rid of everything then gained my weight back so I had to re-buy everything. This time I’m won’t need to use it, so I feel like doing the opposite of what I did last time is a good luck charm of sorts. It’s stupid, but offers me comfort.)
Anyhow, last summer, I was swimming in my size 22 denim capris so I thought surely I had bypassed 20 and needed 18’s. Erm… No. I needed the 20’s. Ever the optimist, however, I decided to keep them because I would totally be fitting them by July. Or August. Or September? Ah, yes, September. They ‘fit’, meaning, I could button and zip them but they were so tight they did that weird camel toe thing that is not a camel toe but totally looks like one. TIGHT. Muffin bubbling over the top, my gut suddenly expanding several inches as fat was displaced requiring, not the summery tshirt, but the bulky camouflaging sweatshirt. But, they ‘fit’.
This morning I was digging through my drawers looking for something cute. I found a familiar pair of size 18 capris. They totally fit.

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After my run yesterday I felt (like an athlete, like I can do anything) like I should take a day off of exercise. I told myself all day that when my brain started gnawing at me about running that I would jaw back that I need to take a healing day off! I came home and Bradley was really excited to go for a walk. How could I say no to that? So off we went. I laughed to Bradley about how I totally went against my plan. Secretly inside I didn’t count it as a walk even though we kept a great pace and walked for a long time. I counted it as a social activity which was a milestone in a completely different way. Exercise as fun and recreation? Welcome back in earnest!

Ray of Light

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I did it! I did it! Oh yes I DID IT!!!
What did I do? I didn’t just run 3.1 miles, I sailed by it and by the time I realized what was going on, I ran for 40 minutes for 3.6 miles!

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Faster than the speeding light she’s flying
Trying to remember where it all began…
A million years ago, it seems, I decided that someday I wanted to run alongside my husband. He started running, and I looked at him like something so foreign. How was he just… Doing it? How? It was impossible, but alluring. I decided that alongside my life’s goals list of things like growing my hair to my waist and planting a sunflower garden, I wanted to add: be a runner sometime. I wanted to be one of those couples you see all duded up in their runner’s gear, huffing along, side by side down the trail. I decided I wanted to run a marathon. Or a half marathon. Or a 5K. Or SOMETHING that would make me feel like an athlete. I made goals, promises, got ideas. Then I started moving.
She’s got herself a little piece of heaven
Waiting for the time when earth shall be as one
It started with a few steps at the beginning of March, less than two months ago. I remember running to Katy Perry, just to see what would happen. It huuurt! My lungs, legs, knees, hips- it all hurt. The next time I ran thirty seconds. Then a minute. And more and more and more. Finally it was a half mile in 12 minutes, then the mile! It was amazing how fast the time seemed to stack up, a quarter mile seemed like nothing, then a half mile was pretty simple and then the mile, suddenly miles compressed and fused together… It just seemed to take on a life of its own right under my feet.
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
I started adding distance, not worrying about times and signed up for my race. The training had to begin in earnest. I knew I had to persevere and refuse to let fear keep me from making that 3.1 mile goal. I started pushing, going slow, steady, and stopped paying attention to my Strava run tracker. I closed my brain off, pushed away the fear and let my body do it. I let go.
And I feel
And I feel like I just got home
And I feel
And the last moment, right when I figured out I screamed past 3.1 miles (5K) all the way to 3.6 miles was a thrilling one! I raised my hands over my head, crowed like Peter Pan and burst into a sprint the rest of the way home! I was a gazelle! I felt so bouncy, so amazing and so powerful as I cantered the rest of the way home. This body is such a gift.
Quicker than a ray of light she’s flying
Quicker than a ray of light I’m flying
***
(Thank you to Madonna for singing me home)